9 THINGS THE AVERAGE PERSON DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT LOVE(true love)

9 THINGS THE AVERAGE PERSON DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT LOVE(true love) 
by Banks Nwokeji

From the title of this article, you'd notice I said "true love"_yea, that's cos there are quite a number of other versions out there(fake ones actually). Versions like 'Eros'(sexual/chemical love), 'Philia'(love based on mutual interest), storgē(affection)..and so on. These versions are really not what I'll be writing on, but all you have/need to know about them is that they're so not reliable.

So, here are the 9(nine) truths:

1) LOVE IS NOT A FEELING: If you're going to get a clue what love is really all about then this is probably the first thing you have to know, understand and constantly remind yourself. The average guy thinks love is all about what he feels, so he 'thinks', if he meets someone and possibly feels butterflies in his stomach, then he must be in love. Feelings are generated by emotions and emotions are the most unstable things I know_ cos they're determined by so many external factors.

2) LOVE IS A CHOICE/DECISION: Christ loved us all(undoubtedly), but it was definitely not some feelings or emotions that caused him to come down from his place in heaven, take the form of a mortal man, subject himself to sheer humiliation and ultimately die on the cross_ No, it wasn't, it was a "decision/choice".
Couples who have been married for 20,30,40 years will tell you that it obviously took more than 'some feeling' to stay married for that long.

3) LOVE IS LEAST EXPRESSED IN WORDS: If you want to know if someone loves you, then you'd have to focus more on what they do than what they say. I've discovered that sometimes the people that love you the most are the ones that tell you 'they love you' the least (people like your father and mother). But, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with 'verbally' expressing your love for someone, I'm just saying it's the least way it can be expressed. Jesus says in John.14:15, "if you love me keep my commandments". He didn't say, "if you love me, tell me 'I love you"_No, he simply said, "if you love me, show me".

4) LOVE IS THE ONLY DEBT YOU OWE PEOPLE: This is certainly a though one but, it's the truth. Rom.13:8,"owe no man anything but to love one another". It's no doubt 'loving everyone' is going be tough(really tough) cos not everyone deserve it from you. Buh, hey_you still owe them.

5) LOVE HAS NO REASON: Once you can think of a reason why you love someone, just know it's not true love. For example, if you ' supposedly' love someone because they are *pretty/handsome, then when that beauty fades(which it certainly will), then the love fades with it. OR if you love them cos they're rich, then when the wealth goes, the love goes too_ this is not love.

6)LOVE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX: This fatal misconception is more common with the male folks. It's sheer ignorance to think sex is an expression of love. Think; if sex was love, then no one has more love than a prostitute. So next time someone expects you to *sleep with them to prove you love you love them_ just know they're ignorant and knows nothing about love.

7) LOVE IS A DIRECT EXPRESSION OF VALUE: The ideal concept of love is obtained from "value". Truth is you can't love something or someone you don't value. God loved us because he valued us. He made us in his image and put his name(attributes) on us(*that's absolutely something of value)_so, even while we were yet sinners he still had to express his love for us(by dying on the cross), because he valued us. The easiest way to develop love for something or someone is to increase your value for that thing or that person. Never forget this; value creates love_ no value, no love.

8) THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS "FALLING IN LOVE": Usually, people who 'fall in love', shortly 'fall out'. There's no such thing as 'falling in love ' cos love is an act of the will. The phrase "falling in love" from it's literal meaning displays a picture of an involuntary action. You shouldn't be "falling in"_ rather you should be "walking in/into" love.

9) THE MOST IMPORTANT LOVE IS SELF-LOVE: Truth is, if you don't love yourself, there's no way you can love any other person. The second most important commandment, "love your neighbour as you love yourself" suggests that you'll have to love yourself first so you can love your neighbour. It'll amaze you know that most people do not love themselves (at least they think they do). PS: self love does not in any way connote selfishness_No, it can simply be translated as "self-value".


So, next time someone tells you they "love" you...find out if they really understand these things.